Thursday, August 30, 2012

Funny how things change...oh, thanks to FB

So, going through high school I was in no way a nerd (well I don't think I was, I was too busy to care anyway) nor was I popular. I got along with everyone, most of the time, unless I was just being a bitch. I was for sure always trying to put a smile on people's face to distract from my insecurities. I think that every kid has a way to deflect from their insecurities. The "popular girls" were bitches because their world wasn't all that perfect. The "goth kids" we were weird to get the focus off of what their insecurities were too. You remember that one kids that was a huge jock that made everyone laugh and had no problem calling out the nerdy kid to get attention off of himself - yeah that dickhead - he had problems too. It seriously took me growing up (meaning having kids) to realize this. We were seriously all kids trying to find a way to make up for all the shit that we didn't know how or couldn't fix. 

I am in a online mommy group. There are tons of ladies on there that I either don't know, know, or haven't talked to in a long time. Some ladies I have at one time disliked, hated, made fun of, or just rolled my eyes when I heard their name. When I say "at one time" that was before the wonder revelation of parenthood hit. Having kids, seriously changes the way you think, feel, and opens your ass up to be one emotional bitch. (No, I am not pregnant, and Yes, I still cry all the damn time, ((over stupid shit)) Anyway - getting back to my point - Some of these ladies have been a real help and inspiration to become a better person/mom. At one time all the talk of organics and breastfeeding had me rolling my eyes because there are some really strong opinions on that forum, but then I realized - they are doing what they feel is best for their child. So I started to look into things and yes - I am pro-organic and it pains me that I can't afford a $7 gallon of organic milk for my kids but I am trying now. I am still anti-breastfeeding for me - let me stress FOR ME. I think it's great that other people want and can do it, but it just isn't happening for me. 

My main point of this fraking blog was that being in this group and having kids has really opened my eyes, to the fact that we all weren't as perfect as we thought back then. Now we are all parents. We have goals, hopes, and wishes for our children. When something happens or I need advice (because I don't like what people around me are saying) I ask the ladies. They give honest and thoughtful advice. Some of them have kids that are older and some have kids that are still cooking. It's nice to have somewhere to go and talk to girls I have known for over half of my life (Aimee, Tiffanie, and others; almost my entire life) and get their take on things, find remedies, and just have somewhere to vent when Hubbs is being a bonehead. These girls, who are now women - have become people that I trust and talk to often online. I have become one of those ladies who starts off a convo by saying, "In my mommy's group....blah blah blah" At that time, my mother or Hubbs just rolls their eyes. But still - I wish we could get kids in high school to understand that these people that you dislike, hate, talk about will one day undoubtedly become someone that you will trust and talk to. People are just people. We all have our own problems and no one is better then anyone else. We are all different - Kumbaya - you get my drift I just think that it's funny how things work out. Have a good one - and remember - that bitch that passed you on the street and gave you that "get real" look - she's got problems too, we all do! Don't get me wrong some people NEVER grow up and are still bitches and a-holes - just being able to understand why has made my life much easier!

Enough of this emotional shit, gotta get Lilli to stop trying to ride Rascal - cause he looks like he wants to bit her ass. 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

It is so past my bedtime

Here at Angel land - everyone is sleeping except for Rascal (who is pacing through the house; looking for food that the girls have dropped, I'm sure) and I. It amazes me how 9:17 pm can feel like midnight. 

I have one day of summer school left to teach. Which really won't be teaching because I plan to let them do activities they want (probably mostly listening to music and sleeping) and then having a big food blow out. My students love to eat...and they can pack it away! I did meet some really amazing people through this program and I am hoping to build a long lasting friendship with the employees at LP. I can't tell you how much money my para professionals should be making because it wouldn't be enough for all they do. I was completely blessed to have them this summer. I would have probably quit after the first two days. No, scratch that - I WOULD have quit after the first 2 days. My coop teacher was great to, she was super laid back and gave me suggestions with out making me feel like a dumb ass and listened to me rank about my kids and lack of sleep. She's a mommy of a one year old too - so she knows how it is! I have really learned a lot from this summer program and I would love love love to work with either the babies or older kids when I am ready to go back to work full time. 

I have, however, felt like I have been totally detached from all of my friends and family since I have been teaching this summer. I really couldn't see going back to work full time. When would I have time to breath? I think that moms or even dads that work full time and devote themselves completely to more then one kid are AMAZING! I mean - it's hard with one kid but multiple kids and working full time is just complete chaos! I would seriously never see them. And my house would be a total fraking disaster area. It should probably be quarantined and tented for bugs with the lack of clean, laundry, and cooking that hasn't happened in this house in the past 6 weeks. I have seriously just done enough to make sure we have clean clothes, towels, dishes, and butts.
(I seriously just dicked around with the font and now I don't know how to get it back to normal...sorry guys!)
So, my house is amazingly crusty - there are dirty clothes piled so high in the basement I dread going down there because there isn't enough water in Brownstown Twp to clean all that shit, let enough time in the world...we have those fancy dancy new front load washers...they are nice when my lazy ass doesn't want to bend over to pull the clothes out but it takes 51 minutes to wash one load of clothes...really?! Who has that long?! I have 2 kids that burn through clothes like they are in a photo shoot 24/7. And that shit is just going to get worse as they get older. I am going to have to implement some rules around here about changing clothes and wearing jeans more then once if they are stain free.
(Fixed the font; I almost spelt it phont...that's how tired I am!)

Besides living in a filthy house and eating out all the time - life has really been crazy but I have like it. I liked getting back out into the world of the living. Meeting other professionals (yes, I can be professional...for a certain amount of time) and learning new things. I am really struggling to keep my lids open people...I will talk at you another day! Until then...