Thursday, November 14, 2013

Until it happens to you...

I know I have posted about being a hypocrite before. Before I owned a house, got married (twice), and had children I judged people with the best of them. Does it make me a horrible person? No, only because I learned from my mistakes.

I taught elementary school children and couldn't understand why parents had such a hard time getting their kids to school on time. I certainly didn't understand why they didn't feed their kids before they brought them to school. How HORRIBLE they were! Right? WRONG! If having my own kids have taught me anything, it's that NOTHING goes the way it's supposed to go and there is NEVER enough money to cover everything we need to pay. Yes, kids throw fits in the morning about almost everything. Which makes them late to school. Sometimes we are late to somewhere just because those extra 5 minutes in bed just feels so damn good. As far as breakfast goes - I have one kid that eats from sun up to sun down. I have another one that eats only enough to keep surviving. Kids go to school really early. No wonder they don't want to eat until they get there. Or maybe, just maybe they really don't have money for food. It really happens. We've had weeks where we've only had 35 bucks for groceries. Those weeks sucked, but we survived. Until it happens to you, you don't understand. But, put yourself in their shoes.

Another thing I just realized is that cyber bullying is real. It might be something that is flat out rude or a nice picture with a "deeper meaning" that is meant to just demoralize others and how they live their lives. A friend of mine just found out that her 10 year old son what bullying people on the internet. She had NO idea. She deleted all accounts, took toys/phones away, and sat him down to explain to him why bullying was wrong. She had him watch an episode of Dr. Phil about bullying and then a video on the last girl that killed herself because of cyber bullying. I am so unbelievably PROUD of her as a parent! She has set a great example for her other kids and for us parents who will unfortunately have to deal with this at some point in our children's lives. However, there are people who have told her she's a bad parent because she didn't know what he was doing to begin with. REALLY?! Kids are sneaky. There is honestly not enough time in the day to keep tabs on them. Until it happens to you, you don't understand. But, put yourself in their shoes.

I feel that each day as a parent I learn more, see more, and experience more. I have become more sensitive to others through the trials that I have been through. I try to understand every point of view. Maybe it's my personality or how I was raised. However, I wasn't raised to judge people. That's not my job. People do things in their lives because they think that's the best for them or their families. All I can try to control is what happens to my family. I can try to sensor what my kids see or do. I say try to, because you never know what is going to happen. Nothing is promised to you.

My nephew was bullied continuously at his old school. Nothing was done. He's a really strong kid. He was able to understand that it wasn't his fault that he is different from others. He's in a school district that supports and roots for him now. However, there are kids out there that don't have that kind of support.

Oh, and bullies suck. Plain and simple. If you are berating someone because they are not just like you, think like you, or for any reason - your a bully. I've been that bully before. I totally sucked at one point. I learned though. All I ask is that you try to put yourself in others shoes, because unless you've been in their shoes - you have nothing to say!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Season of Thanks

November 1st marks the first official day of the season of thanks. Throughout the holidays everyone takes a moment to think of the things that they are most thankful for in their lives. Some small things and some large. My season of thanks started a little less then 6 months ago. We had a life changing moment happen which made us offer up thanks for the 2 beautiful, healthy girls we have & our love and support for each other. Nothing like tragedy to make your put your life into perspective.

I always said I wanted four kids. We compromised for 3 when we got married and then when we had two back to back, Miguel said I am good with 2, but if you want three then let's do it. As I sit here feeding my pregnant face with M&M cookies and Sprite I have had an Ah-Ha moment. This is actually my fourth child. So in a way, I am getting what I always dreamed of! Yes, I won't have four children to see go to kindergarten, graduate high school, get married, have kids - but I've had four kids. My body has held 4 beating hearts. Four babies that have changed my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and body. Oh, Lordy have they changed my body. (I now have the long mom butt)

Each day I have new things I worry about. Some are frivolous, like paying bills. Others are huge, as in how to raise children that are respectful and have amazing self-esteem. Luckily for me, I married the most laid back man ever! He always tells me, "We will be fine." Which sometimes makes me want to give him a titty twister, then other times it makes my heartbeat slow down and my armpits stop sweating. Oh man, my ADD has thrown me off course once again!

So today on November 1st - what am I thankful for? My four kids. The four kids that I have always wanted. The four kids that given me joy, sorrow, stretch marks, the ability to pee when I laugh or sneeze, patience, a long mom butt, & hugs and kisses.