November 1st marks the first official day of the season of thanks. Throughout the holidays everyone takes a moment to think of the things that they are most thankful for in their lives. Some small things and some large. My season of thanks started a little less then 6 months ago. We had a life changing moment happen which made us offer up thanks for the 2 beautiful, healthy girls we have & our love and support for each other. Nothing like tragedy to make your put your life into perspective.
I always said I wanted four kids. We compromised for 3 when we got married and then when we had two back to back, Miguel said I am good with 2, but if you want three then let's do it. As I sit here feeding my pregnant face with M&M cookies and Sprite I have had an Ah-Ha moment. This is actually my fourth child. So in a way, I am getting what I always dreamed of! Yes, I won't have four children to see go to kindergarten, graduate high school, get married, have kids - but I've had four kids. My body has held 4 beating hearts. Four babies that have changed my thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and body. Oh, Lordy have they changed my body. (I now have the long mom butt)
Each day I have new things I worry about. Some are frivolous, like paying bills. Others are huge, as in how to raise children that are respectful and have amazing self-esteem. Luckily for me, I married the most laid back man ever! He always tells me, "We will be fine." Which sometimes makes me want to give him a titty twister, then other times it makes my heartbeat slow down and my armpits stop sweating. Oh man, my ADD has thrown me off course once again!
So today on November 1st - what am I thankful for? My four kids. The four kids that I have always wanted. The four kids that given me joy, sorrow, stretch marks, the ability to pee when I laugh or sneeze, patience, a long mom butt, & hugs and kisses.