Baby, baby, baby.....s

As some of you know from my ramblings here and there that we are trying for our third child. We have been "trying" since September. Now when I say trying, I don't mean - we'll see what happens when it happens. I mean, temperature charting, ovulating testing - the whole nine yards. I can say that after 6 months of trying, I probably only have 1/10th of the want that people who haven't conceived in years or never will. My thoughts often go to those who aren't able to have kids at all. I think that adoption should be attainable for EVERYONE with the means of supporting and loving a child. It's ridiculous to have to spend 20K+ to adopt a child and give it a better life. RIDICULOUS.

There are some people that sympathize with us and others that don't. Let me just tell you that the ones that don't are high on my shit list when they talk all high and mighty. If you have never "tried" and "tried" and "tried" to get pregnant, with no success - shut.your.hole. The best phrase to say to me to get punched in the throat is, "Stop trying." Really?! Are you kidding me?! I don't have a young 20 something body that is popping out vibrant, healthy eggs every month. I want what I want and I want it NOW!

A lot of people who are trying to make me feel better, say, Oh, it will happen when it's supposed to happen. No shit sherlock....really? You don't think that I realize I have no real control over this and that it makes me feel even more like losing my fraking mind?! I love those people for trying to make me feel better. When I get so close to that time of the month, it's great how mother nature fucks with me.  It makes my boobs hurt, turns me into a narcoleptic, and makes me bubble with emotions. I think - hmmm...maybe the sperm were like Michael Phelps this time....maybe me holding my legs up for 25 minutes after really worked. Only, to start my period 2 days later. What.a.bitch. Yeah, you mother nature are a huge BITCH.

As you can tell, it's getting close to that time of finding out if it's a + or a - sign. Less then a week. And the anticipation is KILLING me. I guess good things come to those who wait right? That's a shitty saying too...blah - I need to eat something with chocolate and go back to bed!